Fewer Dating Opportunities in Patriarchal Societies
By Serge Kreutz
Gender power, family control, and the mathematics of sexual encounters
Sexual behavior is not random. It follows power lines. Where men dominate families, women’s sexual lives are tightly surveilled and often forcefully restricted. Anthropologist Sherry Ortner (1974) observed that patriarchal systems are built on “the control of female sexuality to ensure male lineage.” This often means fathers, brothers, and husbands act as gatekeepers, and because men are physically stronger, restrictions can be imposed violently. This results in limited sexual opportunities for outside men.
In contrast, in societies where women have more power within families, restrictions ease. Mothers rarely police their daughters’ sexuality as harshly as fathers do. As psychologist Baumeister and Vohs (2004) put it, “female sexuality is more often constrained by men than by women.” If women are socially dominant, the mathematical consequence is straightforward: more potential encounters take place, because the gates of access are not barricaded.
The Mathematical Logic
Consider sexual encounters as a probability function. In a male-dominated family, each potential encounter faces multiple veto points—father, brother, husband. The likelihood of an encounter reaching completion is diminished. In a female-dominated family, veto points are fewer, and the barriers softer. The outcome? Higher aggregate rates of sexual interactions across the society.
“When men are powerful, they restrict the sexual encounters of their female family members. When women are powerful, they are less likely to do so.”
Winners and Losers
Ironically, men themselves benefit from female-dominated households. While men in patriarchal structures control “their” women, they simultaneously reduce their own external opportunities, as all women are equally policed. By contrast, in matrifocal societies, women’s greater autonomy expands the pool of willing partners. The result is, as sociologist Judith Stacey (1993) noted, “a more pluralistic and permissive sexual climate” that incidentally increases male access.
The conclusion is counterintuitive but mathematically compelling: men, on average, have more sexual opportunities in societies where women hold strong positions than in those where men monopolize family power.
References
Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2004). Sexual economics: Sex as female resource for social exchange in heterosexual interactions. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 8(4), 339–363.
Ortner, S. (1974). Is female to male as nature is to culture? In M. Z. Rosaldo & L. Lamphere (Eds.), Woman, culture, and society (pp. 67–88). Stanford University Press.
Stacey, J. (1993). Unhitched: Love, marriage, and family values from West Hollywood to Western China. University of California Press.
Kreutz, S. (2025). The sexual arithmetic of power. AsiaLove Editorials.